Do you secretly enjoy hearing about the misfortunes of other people? Do you take comfort in the failures of others around you? It may be that you feel a bit guilty about hoping your friend’s boyfriend dumps her or your neighbour’s new car breaks down, but you can’t just help yourself thinking this way.
While many people who secretly hope other people will experience some kind of disappointment will never do anything to harm another person, they enjoy the pleasures that the little misfortunes of others produce for them.
But why? Why do you think and feel this way? And how can you transform this way of thinking into a higher way of living that attracts emotional wellbeing, happiness and greater life satisfaction?
Below are some of the possible reasons and solutions:
5 Possible Reasons
- Scarcity mentality. You believe that there is limited supply of resources out there. So, when others win, you are left with a sense of inner failure.
- Competition mindset. You see the world as one big race where everyone is contesting against everyone else. You feel that your own success or wellbeing is always being threatened by other people’s progress.
- Using others to measure your level of success. You measure your own success in relation to other people. When others around you succeed, you feel like a failure.
- The subconscious yearning for supremacy. You resent others around you doing better than yourself. You will rather be a big fish in a small pond than being a small fish in a big pond.
- A sense of inner inadequacy to succeed. You feel that you lack the raw potentiality or the will-power to succeed in a big way in life. As a result, when others fail, you feel a little bit better about yourself.
6 Possible Solutions
- Believe in the abundant universe. This is where happiness and success begins – in the attitude of the mind. Instead of seeing life as a scarcity pavilion, start to see it as an abundant arena; where the breakthrough of one person does not hinder the breakthrough of another person. Your belief is crucial. It decides what life deflects back to you. When you develop an abundance-mentality, life will eventually reward you with abundance.
- Embrace co-operation. There are 3 ways to approach life. You approach life by: competition, indifference, or by co-operation. If you choose competition, chances are you will never be happy or fulfilled. Likewise, if you choose indifference, there is a solid chance that you won’t realise your potential or achieve anything significant. But if you choose co-operation, you are sowing a seed of love that always produces happiness and personal fulfilment.
- Use your potential to measure your own success. Instead of looking at others in determining your level of success, only measure your own success by what you are capable of. The real measure of success is against your ultimate possibilities and potentialities, and not against the possibilities and potentialities of other people. This is a secret to happiness and greater accomplishment.
- Believe that you possess what it takes to succeed. Embrace the wise words of Hellen Keller, the American Nobel Prize Winner, that says, “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” Develop unshakable faith in yourself that you are capable of succeeding in life (whatever success means to you). Without a reasonable level of self-belief, confidence and faith, success remains a mirage.
- Identify goals that excite you and unlock your passion. “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams,” as rightly observed by Eleanor Roosevelt, the former first lady of America. One critical reason for jealousy and unconscious envy towards others is lack of compelling goals. If you have found what you really love to do, you will not have time to sit down for too long hoping others fail. Have you found something that unlocks your passion? Have you identified your dominant purpose? Once you find it, you’ll enter into a restful place where all that matters is for you to do what you love doing, enjoy it and make the world a better place. You will have little or no time for envy.
- Send a little prayer towards others who succeed. This is a power little gesture that can help displace your subconscious knack for envy and jealousy. Any time someone close to you or someone you hear about succeeds or experiences some kind of good news, say a little prayer for them. Send them good wishes and be genuinely happy for them. By doing so, you are activating the law of attraction, which says that, “You are a living magnet and you will attract what you continue to genuinely appreciate.” Therefore, when others are happy around you and you rejoice for them, you are orchestrating your own happiness and success. Truly, the success and wellbeing of others are simply raw materials for our own success and wellbeing, provided we are willing to happy for them. We are meant for each other and better together.
Hope this is helpful.
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