What does it really take to change one’s negative concepts and belief system? What does it take to turn one’s life around for the better? How can you transform yourself to be that which you know you are capable of being? What do you have to do to shake off those negative and self-sabotaging habits, thoughts and routines that you yourself find self-destructive?
Whether it’s a habit of procrastination, continuos discouragement, laziness, irresponsibility, alcohol addiction, drugs addiction, other specific addictions, self-criticism, self-sabotage, low self-esteem, self-harming, lack of self-confidence and any other negative mind programmings, there are three foundational elements that must be in place for positive changes to begin:
a. Desire: The starting place for any life transformation is to develop a burning desire to change. Desire is the gateway to change.
b. Decision: After developing a burning desire, you will have to decide to change. Nobody will do this for you. Desire alone does not cause change. It takes a deliberate decision to initiate change on your part. Decision is personal commitment to positive actions that will connect you to your desired destination or new experiences.
c. Determination. Determination is persistent positive actions until you achieve your goals. A burning desire, coupled with positive decisions, is not capable on its own to guarantee you your desired future, unless you add determination. Life is tough. There will be challenges and periods of discouragements. Expect to be low in motivation and inspiration at times. Whether you like or not, there’ll be failures and setbacks. But what keeps you going is your sheer determination never to give up. It is your undivided and relentless devotion to positive actions, in spite of the threatening adversities and trials, that will propel you to achieving your goals.
Know Your Real Battle Ground
Your mind is the battle ground for change. It is where your winning or losing will be decided. Whatever changes you desire to make, it will have to start in your mind. Without the transformation of your mind from the old ways of doing things to the new ways of doing things, you cannot leave your debilitating habits behind you. You will have to focus on changing your life from the inside-out. That is, from the invisible (from your old mind-set and mentality) to the visible ( to your new life experiences).
Now, regarding changing your life from the inside-out, there are few timeless principles that you will have to engage. These principles have been proven and tested by thousands of ordinary people who against all odds have managed to change the course of their entire lives for he better.
Here are a few you should start doing immediately to create swift positive changes in your life. Of course, this is to be used after you already have the above three prerequisites for positive changes in place: desire, decision and determination:
- Write down your goals. This is where the magic of change starts. Until you write down the specific positive changes you want, it is wishful thinking. But once you write down your goals, you activate energising and success chemicals in your brain that increase your creativity, energy and discernment. You start to see more opportunities and attract other things to help you achieve your goal. This single success principle has transformed more lives than any other breakthrough principle there is.
- Visualise yourself as though you’ve achieved your goals. This is crucial. To visualise is to imagine yourself all the time to have attained the exact positive changes you intend to create. For example if you want to loose weight or stop smoking, you will have to start visualising and seeing yourself in the exact weight you love to be or as non-smoker – someone who can no longer stand the devastating long-term effects of smoking in the lungs. For you to be able to train your brain to drop the old ingrained habit patterns, you need to channel your new expected life experience unto it continuously like a ferocious laser beams until your old habits are burnt off and your new habits are inscribed. Visualisation is the creative code of your subconscious mind. Whatever future you cannot see first through the eyes of your imagination, you can not walk into. Another thing here; ensure you imagine yourself in your new experience everyday for at least 21 days. This is about the time it takes for a new habit to form.
- Use positive affirmations. Affirmation is when you say aloud to yourself, with emotions and passion, a positive statement that describes you as already in possession of your intended positive changes. For example; some wanting to stop smoking can say this; “I am non-smoker and enjoy the renewed chest and lung energy I am feeling, as well as the refreshing body fragrance I diffuse to others.” This is a powerful affirmation if stop-smoking is one of your goals. But the main key here is REPETITION. regardless of the type of changes you want to make, you will have to keep repeating appropriate affirmations that describe your goal in its completed state, until your subconscious mind accepts them as your new life operating principles. Humans are programmable beings, Even the advertisers know this. They know they can get you to eventually buy their products if they put advertisements in front of you long enough. Continue to say your affirmations until you hear yourself saying it in your dreams. When that happens you are just about orchestrating a powerful mind behavioural modification.
- Feed your mind with positive messages. Like I already mentioned, your mind is your world and battle grounds for your destiny. If all that you feed into it is negativity that you get from watching unhelpful TV programmes or reading pointless books that multiply your fears and irresponsibility, you will be weakening your mind strength to pull off the positive changes you are desiring. Your life moves towards the directions of your thoughts. Therefore, listen to inspirational and motivational messages that will flood your mind with positive thoughts. Read biographies of successful and victorious people who have already overcome the challenges you are now going through. Identify how they managed to turn their lives around. Look for the principles they used. This will fill your mind with greater motivation and passion to further commit to positive changes.
- Get positive friends. Friends are agents for success or failures. You cannot succeed beyond the success capabilities of your closest friends. If you want to conquer alcohol addiction, and the friends you hang out with are all alcoholics, you are basically deceiving yourself. You cannot pull off a Rolls-Royce kind of life while wallowing in a bicycle-like living. You need to make hard decisions about those you call friends if you must turn your future around. Those whose attitudes and habits you do not want in your future should not be your closest friends any more. Identify those in whose presence you are energised, inspired and filled with seeds of greatness. Then pay any price to be in their company more often.
- Seek the right help. Sometimes, the changes you need to make requires the expertise and support of a professional, or just the loving care of your parents, siblings, friends or your spouse. If you feel this’s applicable to your situation, you must move fast and seek appropriate help. Refuse to procrastinate on this. True strength is revealed in one’s willingness to reach for help and reach for it quickly. You do not want to wait until irrecoverable damages have been caused. Do not join those people who are too proud to salvage their future and destinies from wasting away. We’ll always need other people to partner with us in some capacity if we must achieve our goals. And if that comes in a form of practical or emotional support from others, that’s brilliant. Nobody succeeds alone.
- Take action. Finally, you must accept full responsibility to commit to those positive steps that lead to positive changes. While setting your goal, it should also contain the action-steps you intend to be taking daily in order to achieve your goals – such as what you need to be doing, what you need to stop doing, what you need to do less of and of course what you need to do more of. So it is now your duty to daily commit to these actions until your desired results show up. Remember the three pre-requisite elements I started with – desire, decision, determination. This is when you put them to the test. If you use all of the above tips, the results you’ll create will literally stun you. I did not say it’s all going to be easy and fun. certainly not! But the price you will pay to change will be far lower than the price of allowing those negative habits, behaviours and life style to truncate your destiny. I do believe that if you choose to pay the price for positive changes, the rewards and satisfactions of your victory will be really worth it.
Hope these tips are helpful to you. If you don’t mind, let me know how you are getting on.
Wishing you the very best!
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