Do you often get excited about pursuing a goal, a project or a dream but get easily discouraged because the results you expect do not come quickly enough? Do the negative opinions of others easily sap your energy and enthusiasm? Do you feel like you lack the tenacity to follow through on your goals? If you can relate to any of the above questions, this session may be useful to you.
To start with, let me assure you that you are not the only one in this situation. Over 95% of the population in any country of the world fall into this category. Discouragement is one of the biggest obstacles to success. However, there is good news. You can join the top 3% who have defied the negative force of discouragement to attain unbelievable levels of success.
Success has formulae – all of which are learnable. Therefore, if you are willing to learn and put what you learn into practice, you can soar above the winds of disappointments and become an highly motivated achiever.
Now, let us look at some of the possible causes of discouragement and what can be done to overcome them:
Possible Causes & Solutions of Being Easily Discouraged
1) Lack of clear vision
This is where everything begins. If you do not know what exactly you want, you will live your entire life being controlled by the opinions of others. Lack of clear direction in life alone generates a tremendous amount of stress and anxiety. It makes one loses his sense of importance. It saps one’s self-confidence and brings about mental confusion.
Every human contains a powerful success mechanism, which is goal-striving. This power success mechanism only becomes activated when a clear goal is in view. Therefore, sit down and decide what you really want to accomplish. Do not borrow another person’s dream. Set your goals and believe in their possibility. If you are not passionate and convinced enough about where you are going in life, someone else will succeed in convincing you to look the other way.
Have already got a clear vision? If you’ve a clear vision, that’s great! Do not stop visualising its completion in your mind. Keep advancing in the right direction daily, no matter how small the step you are taking may be. Here are the words of Brian Tracy, the personal success expert; “All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose.” Great achievers simply begin with a clear cut vision of where they want to be.
If you have not got a clear vision yet for your life, take time to identify what you want your life goals to be. Ensure that what you have chosen is in harmony with your talents and passions. You will not be able to endure in an undertaking beyond the level of your love and passion for it. Make sure that what you build your life around is what you really enjoy doing. “A goal properly set is halfway reached,” said Zig Ziglar, the American motivator. One of the ways to properly set a goal is to make sure that you set a goal that you will be really looking forward to pursuing.
Secondly, set small and realistic daily goals that will link you to your major goals. The human brain is extremely adaptive. You can re-wire your brain fro success. The only way to re-wire your brain to identify itself with success is by collecting small successes. Set small and achievable goals, so that each time you complete them and succeed, you send success signals to your brain. In no time, your brain will re-tune itself for success, having memorised various recent small successes that you have achieved . Also, achieving little successes will make you feel better about yourself. You’ll become happier and have more energy to keep advancing.
2) The Ego (inner pride) and Fear of Failure
Another reason why people are easily discouraged is because of their ego and fear of failure. I combine these two elements because they are interrelated. We fear failure because we resent how it makes our ego feels. The ego is the false self carved by our wrong perceptions of the expectations of others about us. After the ego is completely formed, your subconscious mind begins to raise a danger alarm against any undertaking that may potentially challenge or hurt your so called “ego” or “false Self”. This is why you would rather shrink back from starting a project than experience the pain of failure.
Unless you detach yourself from the false self, the true self, who is creative, energetic and result-driven, cannot emerge. Highly successful people are those who have tamed their ego and are willing to take the next available actions even in the face of fear and discouragement. Their intention is to try many things and fail quicker so that they know what works or doesn’t work. Successful people are more passionate about success than their fear of failure or momentary disappointment.
Ego is the enemy of advancement. It is important that you make up your mind not to continue to identify with your ego. Refuse to let pride stop you from taking positive actions that will liberate you from unhappiness.
You need to experience progress for you to feel happy and become resilient against discouragement. But without action, you cannot achieve progress. This is why you cannot afford your ego to get in the way of taking the actions necessary to experience progress in your life.
Reprogram your mind through positive affirmations. Declare yourself as someone who loves to take actions and finishes what he starts.
3) Poor Perceptions About Success
For some, this is the reason why they get discouraged easily. They never really understand how success happens. At school, we were taught how to read, write and solve simple arithmetics. But nobody taught us how to succeed. I remember as a little boy thinking that success just happens to people like magic; without having to do anything. Little did I know that success is a skill that must be learnt, just like any other life’s skill such as riding a bike or swimming.
I recommend that you start learning the skills for success. There are a lot of success coaches and materials out there for those who are willing to learn. Discouragement is inevitable when you do not know “how” and “what” it takes to succeed. Success will require, amongst other things, courage, perspiration, faith, patience, quality leaning.
“Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.” — Napoleon Hill, the author of “Think and grow Rich.”
Your success will require more than desire, you will have to cultivate valuable skills necessary for high achievements. “Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration,” as rightly said by Thomas A. Edison.
4) Negative Mental Attitude
This is another reason why people are discouraged easily. Your mental attitude sets the height of your perseverance in any given situation. If the attitude of your mind is negative, it will repel any action that is not consistent with its contents. And since accomplishing a goal is a positive thing, it has no chance to survive in an environment of a negative mental attitude. Your mind-set controls your productivity. When you choose a mind-set, you choose a future.
If you’ve already been convinced subconsciously that you will not succeed in what you are starting, your outcome will simply confirm it. This gets played out as a sense of overwhelming discouragement that you feel.
“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” — Thomas Jefferson, the American founding father.
5) Unhealthy Inner Chattering
This is another reason most people get discouraged easily; unhealthy inner chattering. This is arguably one of the most important skills to master in life; how to communicate effectively with yourself. Whether you know it or not, you are always dialoguing with yourself – asking questions and answering questions. If the questions you are asking are negative, they automatically attract negative answers – which will then disrupt your focus and send distress signals to the body.
For example, if you ask a question such as “Why is it that I am a failure?” You will probably get an answer such as, “Because that’s what you are.” The key skill here is to ask positive and constructive questions; such as, “How can I be successful? What can I do to achieve? Who can I learn from? What can I learn from this setback?”
You are responsible for your inner chattering. Master how to give positive answers to all your negative thoughts. Ensure that no internal dialogue within you is ended without you coming out victorious. Dominate your inner chattering; it is a valuable key for sustain your positive energy and motivation.
“Once you replace negative thoughts with the positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” — Willie Nelson, the American songwriter and author
6) Past Painful Memories
Past painful memories is another reason why you may be easily discouraged. If you allow the negative emotions of your past unpleasant experiences to overwhelm your mind, the result will be discouragement and depression. Your brain was designed to remember past pains and to alert you against going through the same painful experience again. But it is your responsibility to override the fearful memory of the past with the possibilities of your future. Give up your past failure history and see today as the first day of the rest of your life. In order to breakthrough into your future, you will have to break loose from your past. As Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts,” use your past pains and failures as springboards to your greatness. There is purpose in every painful experience that you have been through.
“We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.” —- George Bernard Shaw, the Irish playwright
Those who live in the past cannot leap into the future. Scrutinise the past only for the wisdom it contains, then advance boldly in the directions of your goals.
7) Wrong Association
Wrong association is another common reasons why people get discouraged easily. If the people that you hang out with have no vision, their first assignment is to talk you out of yours. Your association will always determine your acceleration. In fact, research shows that most people eventually earn between two to three thousand pounds more or less than their closest friends. The quality of your association determines the quality of your life. It’s even mentioned in the bible that, “Those who walk with the wise shall become wise; but the companions of fools will be destroyed.” Wrong association is very costly – more costly than anyone than you think.
What you want to do is to identify quality friends whose vision, passion, and energy are in harmony with yours. Walk away from friends whose only advice is that of discouragement. They do not belong in your future those in whose presence your energy, confidence and motivation diminish.
Hope this has been helpful! Please like it and leave a comment.
For anxiety panic disorders, download my FREE anxiety recovery manual HERE: The Essential Guide To Anxiety Panic Recovery.